I often overanalyzed everything. I pine and worry and fret over how people behaved or think of me. I use to think that this wasn't a normal behavior or response to adversity. It occurred to me recently that I wasn't alone.
I follow a few blogs and listen to a couple of choice podcasts... and I learned something. I learned that other people feel this way as well.
As an example, a few months ago a coworker of mine who I admire and look up to got a phone call while in my presence. After terminating the call, they were obviously frustrated. This coworker then very briefly vented about another coworker. In was only 1 or 2 quick sentences about said employees' competence, but it stuck with me. I remembered it because it was out of character. I remembered wondering if that person would do the same to me. I remembered it from that point until last Friday. I had done something that drew an observing eye from said person and it was brought to my attention via a short email. And I WAS RIGHT back to that moment where they vented some months ago. I couldn't help but wonder if that person was venting right now about me to the person next to them. In fact I'd go so far as to say I knew they were. I could see it play out in my head. It hurt to even think about. And the result... my productivity went down! Dare I do something else that might draw more attention? Dare I even respond?
Obviously this is a slippery slope, but we all do it! At some point or another, we all experience the thought that someone might be talking about us.
If I were to go back in time I would say to that coworker STOP! Do not say anything. If I am not in a leadership position or a position to fix your problem, then I don't want to hear it. It will only be gossip... and it will forever tarnish the way I look and think of you.
It's better, no matter how tough, to swallow those harsh words and move on. Your relationships, your productivity, your team's productivity, your company's success will be better because of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment