Privilege vs. Burden

Lately I've had a very poor outlook on things.  Whether it be in my home life, work, trouble with vehicles, my daily commute.  All of these things collectively have been weighing on me.  I'm afraid I have a case of the 'have-tos'.  { Shutter }.  What are the have-to's?  Good question.  Here's an example.  I have to go to work today!  I have to drive to Grand Rapids today.  I have to watch the kids tonight.  I have to make dinner tonight.  I have to take my son fishing this weekend.  Ugh... exhausting just typing it.  What a burden on me. All these things I have to do.  What if, I wonder, we changed the sentence a little.  What if I changed one word???  Would it make a difference.  Lets try it.

I get to go to work today.  I get to drive to Grand Rapids today.  I get to watch the kids tonight.  I get to make dinner tonight.  I get to take my son fishing this weekend.

Wow.  Now just reading that I feel energized.  I feel excited.  Privileged to do such things.  Just by changing one little word, I change my whole outlook on things.  You see, in reality, I don't HAVE to do any of that.  I could be unemployed.  I could be without a vehicle, or without children.  I could have no money to buy food for my family.  All of these things which I day-in and day-out take for granted are privileges in my life.  No, I don't HAVE to do them.... I GET to!

My wife is always telling me that it takes 2 weeks to create a habit.  So for the next two weeks, I'm going to be aware of the words I choose to use in my vocabulary.  Any time I catch myself using the word 'have', I'm going to auto-correct myself in real-time and change my vocabulary... change my thinking... and change my life.

Now, you have to.... err.... you GET to join me.  See what an impact it has on your life!  2 weeks.  Go!

Be Brave Part II

I was listening to this song on the radio this morning.  The title, fittingly, was 'Brave'.  I remember one of the lines in the lyrics resonated with me.  It was, "fear kills more dreams than failure".  Such a true and powerful statement.  When's the last time you dreamed about something?  I bet you haven't acted on that dream.  I also bet it wasn't failure holding you back.  What are you waiting for?  Be Brave!

Be Brave

Have you ever encountered a situation where you didn't know what to do?  Of course you have.  We all have.  The real question is, what did you do in that situation?  It's often hard to do the right thing... even when we know it's right.  Often times we go with the crowd, doing what we think others deem as right, even when in our hearts we know it's not.  Or maybe we're just afraid.  Afraid of what might happen if we go down that road.  

So what can we do in these circumstances?  

The next time you find yourself in the crossroads of a major decision, whether it be a move, a new job, a new relationship... ask yourself one question.  What would you do if you were brave?

Now... go do that!

Confidence breeds success

"Work with the confidence that comes with experience... even if you lack both."

Failure is a stepping stone to success

Failure... it's inevitable.  It's going to happen... and when it does, it will be hard to see past it.  We've all had times in our life where we've failed at something.  Something we've cared about... were passionate about.  In that moment of failure, our first instinct is to put up walls.  We start saying things like, "Well I'm never going to trust them again." or "I will never try that again."  If we're not careful and live in that place to long, we inevitably become cynical.  We say stuff like "Why should I bother trying to do such-and-such, I'm just going to screw it up." 

I chose to write about this today because it's something that I currently face.  I have failed to provide results that a client of ours required.  While I won't go into the details about the fallout, I can assure you it wasn't good.  So I find myself in the spot I described in the beginning.  Dangerously looming between the cliff of despair, if I'm not being overdramatic.  But if I'm being honest to myself, that is how I feel.  So what can I do to turn a loss into a win???

There is no magic formula.  There is only time.  I remember back when I was in high school, my friends and I use to play chess every day during our designated Activity Period.  During that time we would always play each other, never anyone outside of our circle.  One day our 'coach' decided to start a tournament and assign point values.  Everyone was to participate and had a point value.  We started off playing each other and quickly rose the rankings.  It was fun.  Then he threw in a curve ball.  You had to accept a challenge or you automatically lost.  Uh oh.  Now we had to play other players outside of our group.  You can probably guess what happened.  We got destroyed.  I at one time was on the top of the board, only to now watch my rankings plummet in huge chunks.  I was devastated.  It took a while to lick my wounds and heal from that, but over time I learned from my mistakes.  I learned new techniques and styles I would never have learned had a stayed in my circle.  By stepping out { really I was pushed out }, I was able to become a far better chess player.  By the end of my Senior year, I was the best chess player in our school.

The point of this is to not give up.  I'm writing this today to tell myself that.  I've learned first hand that failure is truly a stepping stone to success.  It may not happen over night, but with a positive attitude and time, it's a guarantee you'll be in a better place.

Who are you? What do you do?

You're at a cocktail party.  The COO for a large company approaches you to make idle chat.  With a firm handshake, he looks you in the eye and say, "So what do you do?"

"Uhhh....... ".  What do you say?  "I'm a developer."  Yawn.  Certainly not something that's going to make him want to send you his business or even talk to you for much longer. 

What is your professional identity?  How can you portray excellence with even the most mundane title?

Michael Hyatt talked about an interesting approach in one of his podcasts.  He discussed using the following approach.  To create your professional identity, use the following formula:

Your professional identity plus the target audience plus your unique solution equals your specific transformation.


I AM....
I HELP...
DO OR UNDERSTAND....
... SO....

Question:  What do you do?

My answer:  "I'm a web developer.  I develop custom web applications for mid to large scale businesses so that they can gain and maintain a competitive edge in their marketplace."

Give it a try.  Use the above formula to come up with your professional identity.  Then.... Try it out!  At the next social gathering, practice it.  It may seem forced and uncomfortable at first, but with time and practice, you'll soon be saying it with confidence.  Happy networking!

listen, Listen, LISTEN

Often times when I'm in a meeting or talking with someone important, I find myself doing a few things that I wasn't aware of until recently. 

When we are 'listening' to someone talk, often times we aren't really listening to what they say.  See if you are guilty of any of the following:

When a person is talking, I _________________

1. formulate in my head what I'm going to say next.
2. wait for a pause so I can interject my own story.
3. get distracted by my surroundings easily.
4. interrupt them to tell my own story/thought that theirs had reminded me of.
5. nod frequently and agree with them when they haven't even finished their thought.
6. interrupt them to finish their sentence, portraying to them I've already heard what they have to say and it's not important to me.
7. wait impatiently for an opportunity to arise where I can change the subject or leave.
8. fiddle with my keys or become anxious.
9. make plans in my head for things I want to do after this discussion is over. 
10. go on my cell phone and start multi-tasking.

Number 10 is probably the worst offense you can do during a conversation and it should probably be #1 because everyone does it.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone, try to keep the focus on them and genuinely listen to what they have to say.